填 空

2008年1月18日 | 分类: 未分类 | 标签:

印 象
他是一个智力中上身材中下其貌不扬目光锐利的湖南人。他出生，他成长，他做事，他老去，他死了。
有人说他是圣贤，有人说他是魔鬼。更多的人说，不管是圣贤还是魔鬼，我们都要努力学习他的本领。有趣的是，他不认为自己有什么本领，尤其在晚年，他说自己毫无本领。当然，这么说有自谦的成分，甚至可以说，他过谦近伪。
他一生最恨伪字。于己要诚，对人要敬，是他的信条。然而，很多时候，他都未能说出真实的想法。羽翼他的老大被罢免，他不敢为之辩护，老大死後多年，他才去低调的探望遗属，留下一笔钱。支持他的朋友被杀害，他不敢为之辩护，朋友死後多年，他才在私人谈话中慨叹世间没有真是非。他生活的时代，有至高无上的天子，有蝇营狗苟的万民，他常说，要忠君，要爱民。当天子受到强敌的威胁，他婉拒了勤王的建议；当无辜的国民被绑入刑场，他叹气，他摇首，他将他们送上绞架。
不是因为怕死才违背自己的信条。他不怕死。他对天子发动人身攻击，他义无反顾参与残酷的内战，他有三次自杀的纪录。他发现，个体的力量实在渺小，仅仅不怕死，并不能解决复杂的问题。他相信世间有超越生死的道路，他就走在路上。他知道人皆有死，然而，死亡不是一个句号，死亡是一个冒号。
他会说些什么呢，在冒号之後？也许该拣不会的先说，再说他会的。
那么，他不会相法，因为他经常看走眼；他不会军事，因为最出色的将军都不遵从他的定制，自己指挥作战则一败涂地；他也不会处理人际关系，因为最要好的朋友都跟他翻过脸，有的人最终原谅他，有的人至死责怪他。他一生的事业，就建立在知人与善战的基础上，如果二者都不是他所擅长的事，那么，他会什么？
他会发现他不会的事情。
他曾是十七至十九世纪湖南省最年轻的副部级官员，熟悉帝国法律的运行机制，也知道使用道德规范修正法律漏洞的巧妙手段，但他不能测知这个礼法社会的弹性究竟有多大。他是十九世纪中国内战的胜利者代表，深切感受中央集权与地方自治之间的永恒张力，并亲身参与权力重新分配的制度设计，但是他对鸦片战争以降的中西变局仍然深感迷惑。他是保守主义谢幕演出的领衔主演，终结了传统中国士大夫追求三不朽的历史，却不能开出一条万世太平的新道路。
没有谁用这些超历史超经验的难题指责他。在很长一段时间内，他是自己为难自己。他不认为社会风气的转善会自然形成，他相信个体的道德高标更有实际影响力，于是，他戒晏起，戒烟，戒围棋，戒奢侈，戒好好色，戒妄语佞语，戒官派，戒智力优越感，一直要戒到鸢飞鱼跃活泼泼的名教乐地。他克服非我族类其心必异的狭隘民族主义情感，教导弟子在中西往来之际以诚待人，不要开痞腔。但是，他失败了。他没能影响身边的国人，也没能砥住外国的侵凌。他的国家，不可遏制的衰败，终至灭亡。他的国民，很多年来仅将他视作一尊褪色的神像，有时侮弄，有时又神经质般的崇拜。他意识到，他真正去做的都是他不会的事情。如作草鞋，边打边像。因此，他的遗言是：不信书，信运气。但这不是作为死亡的冒号之後的话。他死了，冒号之後的发言权，不在他，在所有後他而死的人。
他是曾国藩。

按：这副对联拍价四十万，我看着仍有点怀疑。当然，我不懂书法，瞎猜而已。

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